Criticism and growth

When I was 19, I was studying engineering in Mumbai. On some weekends, I’d take a bus to Pune to visit my parents. On one such weekend, I dropped by their office. My mum was there working. I entered her cabin and said,

"I want to drop out."

She looked up from her desk and asked, "Why? What happened?"

I told her I felt lost. College wasn’t teaching me anything useful. At least nothing that felt important. I wanted to drop out and start my own startup. My idea was that of a drink that will allow you to have great sleep. This was back in 2014. Instagram was still relatively new, and Jio hadn't yet launched their crazy cheap mobile plans. My analysis was that as Instagram and Facebook grow in India, people will spend more and more time scrolling and in the process fuck up their sleep. That’s where my drink would come in.

I had researched a bit and found a similar product in USA called Sleep Water. So I told my mom I am going to order a couple of their bottles and reverse engineer it for India. No one was doing this, so I'll capture the market. She is a businesswoman, but she is also an Indian mom. She understood the potential problem, but her concern was, who is going to even talk to a 19 year old dropout in India? Plus, I don't understand the FMCG market, nor do I have any background in brewing drinks. After back and forth, we agreed to at least order a couple of bottles of Sleep Water to try it out. Obviously, I needed her help as I didn't have any money of my own to do it. She agreed. I checked, and three sample bottles with shipping was going to cost around ₹15k in 2014. The number was huge for 19 year old me, who used to eat ₹10 vada pav for lunch in college. In the end, I did not go through with it. 

So, no sleep drink was ordered. No drink was reverse engineered. No market was captured. And I completed my engineering. 

Was it a good idea? maybe. Could I have pulled it off? maybe. 

A few years later, after I completed engineering, I tried my hand at another startup idea. I failed. So clearly, I was not ready when I was 19.

Drop out of college, start a company, and boom, you’re the next billionaire. Startups don't work like that.

Startups are brutal. Are there success stories of college dropout founders? Yes. But they are an exception, not the rule. And chances are you'll probably fall into the latter. Experience will always matter. Now that I am 31, I am much more confident in pulling something of that kind. Will I be successful? I am not sure. But this I definitely know, that if I fail, I'll fail faster, if I succeed, I'll succeed faster.  

Feminism means embracing your womanhood, recognizing your innate talents, and celebrating the differences that make you strong. I see this kind of feminism in all the incredible women around me, and I’m lucky to be surrounded by such women.

I see it in the single mother who, after losing her husband, raises four children on her own. Each child grows up to excel in their chosen field—one studies electrical engineering and eventually builds a company, another pursues law and becomes a respected attorney, a third studies mechanical engineering and rises to lead a major Japanese firm, and the fourth studies civil engineering to become the COO of a prominent Indian developer.

I see it when I see my grandmother.

I see it in the young woman in her early twenties who marries because her dying father wishes to see her married. Despite her wish, she does it to make him smile and later goes on to establish a huge contracting company with the support of her husband. Over twenty years, her company generates millions in value and employs hundreds, all while she builds a family of her own.

I see it when I see my mother.

I see it in a woman who, as a child, dreams of becoming a doctor and against all odds becomes a dermatologist. She sets up her own clinic which eventually expands into a chain of skin clinics across Pune. She marries the love of her life. They build a home together in the city and enjoys a fulfilling life together.

I see it when I see my sister.

I see it in a woman from a small town in India who travels all alone across multiple states in search of a job. With sheer hard work and tenacity, she gets the job she loves. After couple of years, she realises she wants more out of life. Determined, she travels all alone, again, but now across multiple countries to pursue her master’s degree. While living in a different country among people speaking a different language, she receives the heartbreaking news of her father’s passing. As the eldest child, she becomes the de facto head of her family. While working and supporting her family from abroad her ambition pushes her to take on another project. And she embarks on the journey of turning her startup dream into a reality.

I see it when I see my wife.

This is the brand of feminism I respect—it isn’t about bashing men, but about partnering with them. It’s about understanding that differences make us strong and that extraordinary accomplishments are often the result of teamwork.

Here's my salute to the real feminism. Happy Women's day to all women.

How preposterous it is to think that you are special, that you are capable of doing something so great and awe-inspiring that generations ahead will remember you. Realising that it might not be the case can be a heartbreaking process. Tremendous joy can be found in the quiet, simpler truths of living. Go take care of your family. Focus on what you can touch and see. Your life will feel more meaningful for it, your heart swelling with the joy of real, tangible connection, the kind that is good for you in the short term and good for your family in the long term.

Sometimes being ordinary is being extraordinary.

Recently, I talked to ChatGPT about my lunch options. It gave me a few good ideas on what to eat and where to go. Not exactly what I was looking for, but in time it could get there. OpenAI and others are building the next developer ecosystems, the new Android and iOS if you will.

I can easily imagine starting my day by putting on my earbuds with some kind of generative model, right along with my glasses.

Then in theory I could have one interface to consume all my morning needs. The possibilities will be endless:

• GPT for a meditation app think Headspace.
• GPT for a news app think Inshorts.
• GPT for a commute app think Cabify/Uber.
• GPT for a food delivery from apps think Glovo/Doordash.
• GPT for an audiobook app think Audible.

The list can go on and on...

Going ahead, future products might not be traditional apps anymore. They will be APIs, built to integrate seamlessly with GPT models. If you’re thinking of developing a new idea, consider how your APIs can integrate with all the available GPTs instead of focusing solely on building an app around it. That's where the value will truly lie.

That’s the thing about friends who become family. You don’t need to worry about what you should say or shouldn't say. They understand no matter what. When you are around them the smiles are big, the laughs are loud and the tears are real. And then you end up wondering, how.. just how.. in the world did you end up finding these crazy bunch of humans on the rock we called Earth.